Through the Travels (Toilet Facilities)

Squat of a different kind!

I was no stranger to outhouses in new villages in my country where I got used to the smell. As a teenager, holiday work has also taken me to crude construction sites where I lived and I got to use some of the dirtiest outhouses around. I dared not look down as I could imagine maggots waving at me. Some of these cesspool were just inches away from my bottom.

An unforgettable experience was an outhouse built on a slope. Two horizontal planks were extended 6-10 feet from the edge of the hill and kept horizontal there by stilts. A stall was built on top of it. In hilly breezy country it was pretty cool. Just don't look down. This got me to treat new experiences as an adventure.

In the early 1990's my travels started in North Thailand and North-east Myanmar. Later I included Laos and Cambodia. The tribes in the mountainous North Thailand have no stalls for toilets. They will use the open and often before light. I think they prefer the open especially the older folks. There is saying that a release can be done on land, in water (river) and in the air (squatting on a tree branch). For the uninitiated the river job will required one's back to face downstream. The younger generation will catch up with the toilet stalls once they are in schools. 

Those who made trips to these places or their equivalent is expected to do it in the open. Many a times the first question I was asked before folks signed up for these trips will be the toilet facilities. 

My early experience with no toilet facilities was in a Akha village in Mae Chan, North Thailand. We don't mind as we were a party of two men. If the ladies were are there generally a hole was dug into the ground in a secluded and shady place. A few stakes were hammered into the ground and a sarong stretched out by the stakes to form a circular or square stall. 

In these locations the men will find a place away from the houses preferable with a thicket to protect the back (rear). Then we would have a long stick that was strong yet could be flexed. The thicket and the stick is to protect us from the village pigs. They will wait for us to finish and then they lapped it up. Some hungry and enthusiastic pigs will be oinking away and these animals can be intimidating. 

Another humourous occasion was in Vietnam. I visited a Cham village in Binh Thuan province. Cham was basically unreached at that time. Three hours early I was at a seaside village visiting a few church planters. The village was successful in their aqua-culture business.I was feted with lots of crabs, fish and shrimps. Another famous product was their soda water and a their famous bottling plant, Vinh Hao. This natural soda water was poured into a glass with of lime juice and lots of sugar. The concoction of bubbly 'lime-ade' is quite an explosive thirst quencher, as well as a bowel irritant. 

My Chinese experience was pretty interesting. We have a 'shit drain' (it is a literal translation from Cantonese) and stalls were built on top of the drain. At least there was some privacy. While in the stall, I could literally see the 'cakes' from the other stalls. The cleaner will wait for enough 'cakes' before a pail of water is poured down from the higher end flushing all of it into a pond at the lower end.

My bowel was acting up in the Cham village and I spoke through my interpreter that I needed to visit the toilet. The host pointed to the back of the house. I thought they have an outhouse. I went and and did not see one then proceeded to search for one. My bowel was increasing irritated and I was more desperate as the seconds ticked away. I gave up and went back to the house and spoke to my interpreter again. This time the interpreter took me to the rear of the house and with a polite and graceful sweep of his hand from left to right indicating to me that I could take my pick where the toilet is to be. I understood and I went to the nearest bush.

Toilet facilities
1. If there is a need to use the toilet, I prefer the squatty potty than the western -style sit-down toilet. There is no contact. There is also incentive to finish it as soon as possible to avoid needles and pins on the feet.

2. However I am not choosy. If I can wipe the seat down with Dettol Wipes or line the seat with tissue it is fine. If it is unsightly do not attempt to squat on the throne. This is dangerous.

3. Try to do the 'horse stance' i.e. sitting without touching the bowl. You have to be able to last 2-3 minutes. Anyway if it is a bad stomach. This is enough time.

4. Otherwise it is not urgent and you can look for a better one elsewhere.

5. If stomach is bloated or have wind take 2 tablets of charcoal 3X a day. This may be preventive and allow you time to get back to the hotel or a cafe where you pay for a drink and then get to use their amenities.